1. How high is the conflict right now?

Think about texts, emails, arguments, emotional escalation, or shutdown.

Low — We disagree, but we can usually communicate without major explosions. Moderate — Some topics trigger conflict, but there are still workable moments. High — Most interactions become emotionally exhausting or hostile. Extreme — There are threats, intimidation, stalking, coercive control, or revenge behavior.

2. How well can you communicate directly?

We can usually discuss issues productively. Communication works sometimes but often goes sideways. I dread communication because it usually becomes emotionally draining. Direct communication feels unsafe, impossible, or consistently manipulative.

3. How complex is your situation?

Fairly simple — limited assets, debts, or parenting complexity. Moderate — some assets, debts, retirement accounts, or parenting concerns. Complex — multiple properties, businesses, retirement, or long-term conflict. Very complex — business ownership, severe allegations, mental health concerns, or prior litigation.

4. How emotionally stable and functional do you feel right now?

Stressed, but generally functional and able to think clearly. I have emotional swings, panic, or shutdown moments sometimes. I feel emotionally exhausted much of the time. I feel emotionally flooded, unsafe, or unable to think clearly most days.

Which Resolution Path Fits Your Situation?

Your Situation at a Glance

1. How high is the conflict right now?

2. How well can you communicate directly?

3. How complex is your situation?

4. How emotionally stable and functional do you feel right now?