DIY Divorce Hub
Get the clarity, structure, and support you need to manage your own California divorce— without handing your life savings to attorneys. Learn what to do, what to avoid, and how to keep your peace of mind through the process.
Is DIY Divorce Right for You?
Not every divorce needs a courtroom battle. In many cases, you can handle the paperwork, decision-making, and agreements yourself—with the right guidance and a calm structure.
DIY divorce may be a good fit if:
- You and your spouse are willing to communicate, even if things are tense.
- You both want to avoid spending thousands on attorneys.
- You’re open to compromise and don’t want a long, drawn-out fight.
- You’re willing to read, learn, and follow step-by-step instructions.
DIY divorce is not a good fit if:
- There is serious domestic violence, intimidation, or fear for your safety.
- One person is hiding money, assets, or income.
- There are complex business holdings, trusts, or very high net worth issues.
- One person refuses to communicate or cooperate at all.
If you’re unsure where you fall, we can help you sort that out and point you toward the safest path—DIY, mediation, coaching, or a combination.
How Our DIY Divorce Support Works
You didn’t need an attorney to get married—and in many cases, you don’t need one to get divorced. What you do need is a clear roadmap and someone to help you avoid costly mistakes.
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Step 1 – Get Oriented
Learn the big-picture process: timelines, required decisions, common pitfalls, and how California courts generally look at property, support, and parenting. -
Step 2 – Choose Your Path
Decide whether you’re going fully DIY, DIY with mediation support, or DIY with additional coaching for high-conflict personalities or mental health dynamics. -
Step 3 – Follow the Roadmap
Use our checklists, worksheets, and education modules to move step-by-step—from filing, to agreements, to final judgment—without getting lost or overwhelmed.
Along the way, you can add mediation or coaching sessions if things get stuck, emotions spike, or you need a neutral voice in the room.
Choose the DIY Divorce Path That Fits You
Path 1 – Self-Guided DIY Divorce
For lower-conflict couples who can still communicate and are committed to staying out of court. You handle the forms and agreements, and use our guides, checklists, and educational videos to stay organized.
- Big-picture process overview in plain language.
- Guidance on organizing your financial information.
- Issue checklists for parenting, property, support, and debts.
- Tips on how to talk through tough topics without blowing up.
Best for: motivated couples who want a peaceful, cost-conscious divorce.
Path 2 – DIY + Mediation Support
For couples who want to stay out of court, but know conversations may get emotional, stuck, or combative. You still handle much of the process yourselves, but bring in a neutral mediator to help you through the hardest decisions.
- All the benefits of the self-guided DIY path.
- Structured mediation sessions when you hit tough issues.
- Support staying focused on realistic, workable solutions.
- Tools to keep attorneys from taking over your lives and bank accounts.
Best for: couples with tension, but who are still willing to sit at the table.
Path 3 – High-Conflict & Mental Health Aware Support
Some divorces involve bipolar disorder, narcissistic traits, borderline dynamics, coercive control, or long-term emotional abuse. In those situations, the goal is not “winning the argument”—it’s protecting your sanity, your safety, and your future.
- Education on high-conflict personality patterns and tactics.
- Boundary and communication strategies to keep you grounded.
- Support deciding when DIY is realistic and when it isn’t.
- Paths into coaching, mediation, or other resources when needed.
Best for: people who feel like they’re living in a never-ending emotional war.
DIY Divorce Tools & Resources
This hub will eventually connect you to all the DIY materials we’re building. As more resources go live, they’ll appear here and in your member area (if applicable).
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Divorce 101 Video Lessons
Short, plain-language videos explaining each stage of the process, what to expect, and what to watch out for—so you’re not surprised at every turn. -
Checklists & Planning Worksheets
Organize your decisions around parenting, finances, housing, vehicles, debts, and more, so nothing important gets left out of your agreements. -
Communication Scripts
Sample language for difficult conversations with your spouse, so you don’t have to invent everything from scratch when emotions are high. -
Self-Advocacy & Court Preparation Guides
For people representing themselves, learn how to stay calm, organized, and clear when you do have to interact with the court system. -
PTSD & Coercive Control Support (Optional Add-On)
If your divorce is tied to long-term coercive control or emotional abuse, you can layer in our recovery programs to help you stabilize while you work through the process.
When DIY Divorce May Not Be the Safest Choice
As much as we believe in staying out of unnecessary attorney battles, there are times when you may need more formal legal or safety support.
Consider talking with an attorney or safety professional if:
- You are in immediate danger or fear serious retaliation.
- There are threats involving children, weapons, or self-harm.
- There are complicated business interests, large estates, or serious tax issues.
- You’re being pressured to sign anything you don’t understand.
We can still help you understand your options, prepare questions, and stay grounded—but we will always encourage you to prioritize your safety and long-term stability first.
DIY Divorce – Frequently Asked Questions
Do I really not need an attorney?
Some people can complete a divorce without hiring attorneys at all. Others use attorneys in a limited way—for brief consultations or document review—while handling most of the process themselves. We don’t tell you what you must do. We help you understand your options so you can choose the path that fits your situation and risk level.
Can you give me legal advice?
No. Mediation & Mitigation Solutions does not provide legal advice or represent you in court. We focus on education, structure, communication, and conflict reduction. When legal questions come up, we encourage you to consult with a licensed attorney.
What if my spouse hires an aggressive attorney?
That doesn’t automatically mean you need to go to war too. We can help you understand patterns that drive conflict, stay focused on your goals, communicate boundaries, and make thoughtful decisions about when and how to respond. In some cases, limited-scope legal help may be wise; we’ll encourage you to protect yourself without panicking.
Can you help us write our agreements?
We can help you talk through the issues, outline your decisions in plain language, and spot areas you may not have considered. You are always free to have any final agreement reviewed by an attorney before signing.
Important Disclaimer
Mediation & Mitigation Solutions does not provide legal representation, legal advice, or mental-health diagnosis or treatment. We provide mediation, coaching, education, and conflict-mitigation services. For legal questions about your rights and obligations, you should consult with a licensed attorney. For mental-health diagnosis or treatment, you should consult with a licensed mental-health professional.
Ready to Explore the DIY Divorce Path?
Whether you’re just starting to think about divorce or already in the middle of the process, we can help you sort out your options and build a plan that protects your sanity and your future—not just the paperwork.