Resolve Your Divorce · Full Mediation Path

Full Mediation Path (Work Together, Stay Out of Court as Much as Possible)

This path is for couples who, despite conflict, are willing to sit down with a neutral mediator and work toward a written agreement together. The goal is simple: minimize court, reduce drama, and protect your kids, your finances, and your sanity.

Who the Full Mediation Path Is For

Good fit for this path if:

  • You both want to avoid a long, expensive court battle.
  • You can sit in the same (real or virtual) room without things becoming physically unsafe.
  • You’re willing to share financial information honestly and completely.
  • You want a structured, guided process with clear steps and homework between sessions.
  • You’d rather spend money on your future (and your kids) than on billable hours.

This path may not be appropriate if:

  • There is current domestic violence or serious safety concerns.
  • One person is completely unwilling to participate in good faith.
  • There is extreme control over money, access to the children, or information.
  • There are very complex legal issues (e.g., major businesses, immigration risks) that require legal advice.

In those situations, you may need legal advice, safety planning, or a different type of support before using mediation.

How the Full Mediation Path Works

  1. Step 1 – Brief consultation / fit check.
    We start with a short call or online meeting to confirm mediation is appropriate and that both of you understand the process. We cover safety, goals, and what you’d each like to avoid.
  2. Step 2 – Information & homework.
    You’ll gather key documents (income, assets, debts, parenting schedules) and, if you choose, use the DIY Divorce Resource Center to organize your facts before sessions. This makes mediation faster and less expensive.
  3. Step 3 – Mediation sessions (Zoom or in-person).
    We meet together in a structured, guided format. The focus is on problem-solving, not “who wins.” We may start with parenting, then move to money, support, and property division.
  4. Step 4 – Written summary of agreements.
    Once you reach agreement, I prepare a plain-English summary or Memorandum of Understanding that outlines your parenting plan, support terms, and property division.
  5. Step 5 – You convert it to final court paperwork.
    You, with or without help from a lawyer or court self-help center, translate the agreed terms into official Judicial Council forms and, if needed, a formal Marital Settlement Agreement.

Note: Mediation & Mitigation Solutions is not a law firm. We do not file documents for you or tell you what you “should” agree to. We help you communicate, problem-solve, and build agreements you both understand.

Why Mediation Instead of a Court Fight?

Mediation (What We Aim For)

  • Costs are more predictable and usually far lower than two attorneys battling in court.
  • You keep control over the outcome instead of handing decisions to a stranger in a robe.
  • Conversations are private and focused on solutions, not public accusations.
  • Children are shielded from much of the conflict and instability.
  • Sessions can be scheduled around your life, not just the court’s calendar.

Traditional Litigation (What We Try to Reduce)

  • Each side hires a lawyer; conflict can escalate quickly through letters and motions.
  • Most decisions are made through court orders, not mutual agreements.
  • Billing can grow with each email, call, and hearing date.
  • Cases can drag on for months or years, with high emotional and financial cost.

What a Typical Mediation Session Looks Like

  • Check-in and ground rules. We remind everyone of the basics: one person speaks at a time, no name-calling, focus on the future instead of relitigating the past.
  • Agenda review. We confirm what you want to work on that day: parenting schedule, support, property, communication boundaries, or all of the above.
  • Issue-by-issue discussion. I keep the conversation structured, ask clarifying questions, and summarize where you agree and where you don’t (yet).
  • Options and tradeoffs. We explore multiple options, reality-check them against your budget, and look for “good enough” solutions instead of perfect wins.
  • Homework & next steps. You may leave with a small list of tasks before the next session (getting statements, talking to the kids about schedule ideas, checking numbers, etc.).

When Full Mediation Alone May Not Be Enough

Sometimes mediation works best as one part of a bigger support system. You might combine it with:

  • Independent legal advice from a licensed California family law attorney.
  • Individual coaching to manage high-conflict communication or emotional triggers.
  • Therapy or counseling to help you or your children process what’s happening.
  • Specialized professionals (financial planners, CPAs, appraisers) for complex assets.

If, during the process, it becomes clear that mediation is not safe or fair for one party, we’ll talk openly about that and discuss whether to pause, modify, or end mediation.

Common Questions About Mediation

Do we both have to be in the same room?

No. Some sessions are joint; others can be done in “shuttle” style where I meet with each of you separately and carry proposals back and forth. The format depends on safety, comfort level, and what will help you make progress.

Are you acting as our attorney?

No. I do not represent either of you as an attorney and I do not give legal advice. My role is to be a neutral facilitator: I help you communicate, organize information, understand options, and capture agreements in plain English.

Do we still need lawyers?

Some couples choose to get legal advice before or after mediation, some don’t. I encourage you to at least understand your legal rights and obligations. You can take any draft agreements to a lawyer or court self-help center before you sign or file anything.

What if we try mediation and it doesn’t work?

Even if you don’t fully settle, mediation can still clarify issues, narrow disagreements, and reduce the number of things you need a judge to decide. You control how far you want to go and when to stop.

Ready to Explore Full Mediation?

If you and your spouse or co-parent are willing to try working together, the Full Mediation Path can give you structure, support, and a calmer way to move forward. You don’t have to have everything figured out before you reach out.

Disclaimer: Mediation & Mitigation Solutions is not a law firm and does not provide legal or mental-health advice. Mediation focuses on communication, problem-solving, and documenting agreements you choose to make. For legal advice, please consult a licensed California attorney. For safety concerns, contact a domestic violence hotline, shelter, or law enforcement as needed.