Narcissism & High-Conflict: See the Pattern, Stop the Spin

What “High-Conflict” Often Looks Like

High-conflict behavior isn’t just strong opinions or “normal arguing.” It’s a repeated pattern where the goal becomes control, domination, or emotional payoff—often by destabilizing you.

• Gaslighting: rewriting reality until you doubt your memory or judgment.
• Projection: accusing you of what they are doing.
• Blame-shifting: every issue becomes your fault, no matter what.
• Moving goalposts: you can never “do it right.”
• Bait & switch fights: calm → sudden escalation → you’re left confused.
• Smear campaigns: controlling the narrative by making you look unstable.

The Trap Most People Fall Into

The trap is over-explaining, defending, and trying to “prove” you’re reasonable. In high-conflict dynamics, your explanations become fuel. The more you talk, the more material they have to twist.

What You Can Do This Week

Small, practical steps that create immediate stability:

• Stop debating reality. Use short statements, then disengage.
• Reduce live contact. Switch to text/email where possible.
• Create a “no surprise fights” rule. Don’t engage when ambushed.
• Document key events. Dates, facts, screenshots—keep it simple.
• Pick one boundary. Hold it consistently, even if they test it.