Learn Before You Litigate

Education Center – Understand Your Options Before You Go to Court

This page is your safe place to learn: what mediation is, how coaching works, how California divorce really moves through the courts, and how to avoid common, costly mistakes. Take a few minutes to look around before you decide what to do next.

If you are not safe, click here

If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential help, see the resources on the Help & Safety page.

Start With One of These

Resolve Your Divorce Overview

See the three main paths: DIY, DIY + Coaching, and Full Mediation.

DIY Path (Little or No Money)

Learn how to move your California divorce forward with self-help tools.

DIY + Coaching Support

Combine DIY tools with one-on-one guidance so you’re not doing this alone.

Full Mediation Path

If both of you are willing to talk, mediation can often be the fastest, least painful path.

Short Lessons & Concepts

You don’t have to become a lawyer, but a little education goes a long way. These topics will help you make better decisions, even if money is tight or emotions are high.

How Mediation Really Works

What a mediator does (and does not do), who speaks when, and how decisions are actually made.

Coaching vs. Legal Advice

Coaching focuses on clarity, communication, and planning. Attorneys focus on rights, procedures, and legal strategy.

Court Process in Plain English

Petition, response, disclosures, temporary orders, settlement, and judgment — in simple language.

High-Conflict & Safety Concerns

How gaslighting, control, or emotional abuse can affect your options — and when DIY may not be safe.

If you’re in immediate danger or facing severe abuse, skip this quiz and go straight to the Help & Safety page or contact emergency services.

Quick Quiz: What Path Might Fit You Best?

This quiz is anonymous and just for education. Your answers do not go to the court, your spouse, or anyone else. It’s simply a way to think about whether DIY, DIY + Coaching, Full Mediation, or a more safety-focused plan might be the best starting point.

1. Can you and your spouse/partner have basic conversations without it turning into a huge fight most of the time?

Yes, usually we can. No, it often becomes a big argument.

2. Do you believe both of you will share basic financial information (income, bank accounts, debts) if asked?

Yes, I think we both will. No, I expect one of us will hide or block information.

3. Do you share any big-picture goals (for example, keeping the kids stable, staying out of court if possible)?

Yes, we agree on at least one or two big goals. No, it feels like we’re on completely different planets.

4. In the last year, have you felt physically afraid of your spouse/partner, or has there been pushing, hitting, throwing objects, or serious threats?

Yes, I have felt physically afraid or there has been violence or serious threats. No, this has not happened.

5. Does anyone control all the money, important passwords, or access to the children in a way that feels unsafe or very one-sided?

Yes, there is serious control over money or access. No, this isn’t a major issue.

6. Do you frequently feel “crazy,” constantly blamed, or afraid to bring things up because of explosive reactions?

Yes, this happens often. No, not in a serious way.

7. How comfortable are you with filling out forms and reading plain-English instructions?

I can handle it with some guidance or examples. I get overwhelmed quickly and shut down.

8. How important is it to you to stay out of a long, expensive court fight if there is another safe option?

Very important – I want to avoid a court war if possible. I’m mostly focused on “winning,” even if it gets long and expensive.

This quiz cannot tell you what a judge will do. It’s just a tool to help you think about which might be safer and more realistic.

Your quiz result will appear here after you answer all questions and click the button.

Still not sure what to do?

You can always start with DIY, add coaching when you feel stuck, or move into full mediation when both of you are ready to talk. You don’t have to decide everything right now.

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